So I kinda sorta started playing League of Legends

And I kinda sorta got hooked. 

Anyway, once again, I made you a stupid picture. It's Sona from League of Legends - dubstep edition. Obviously. 

xoxo, T

I finally got my Diablo 3 beta key

And I'll just put this here so you can all hate me while I wait for it to download.

Yes, that is my hand gently caressing the screen. 

Yes, anon who emailed me asking if I knew how to take a screenshot, I do, but then you wouldn't be able to see my hand gently caressing the screen, would you? Dumbass.

No, I am not crazy.

xoxo, T

A recap

• fighter left, rogue joined; rogue an RL friend, rogue not a noob
• spent all Turbine Points on cosmetic armor kits and hair color, so now that the new update is out I am completely broke and can't afford anything
• ex-guildie acting stalkerish, left a Star Wars T-shirt and a message in a bag on my doorknob 
• playing Dead Island, really like it now that they fixed it
• learned to play Favored Soul class, actually pretty good at it
• people spontaneously following my healer in a raid because she's on fire 
• OMG Neil Gaiman in "The Guild"? LOVED IT.
• thinking of playing Portal 2 again because it's awesome and I miss it, even though I finished it 4 times
• thinking of playing an FPS, because I haven't played one in a very long time (probably since the first Counter Strike and Medal of Honor); Dead Island doesn't count because it's not exactly an FPS
• Raptr account not tracking games for some reason
• watching Star Trek: DS9 again just because I can

IMMA LET YOU FINISH... But Dragon Age: Origins DLC was totally better

Today I finished Dragon Age 2: Legacy, the first DA2 story-based expansion that I was waiting for oh so long. I'm still not sure what to think about DA2 (the fans of DA: Origins, which I thought was utter brilliant, will know what I mean - too many recycled environments, shallow characters, combat built for 5-year-olds etc ). It obviously wasn't as good as Origins, but I still got hooked. Anyway, BioWare promised to address players' feedback in the expansion, so of course I got very excited to see how exactly they were gonna do that (how much damage control can you really manage with a DLC expansion anyway?)

So let's see, we got new environments (a completely new area that is not the same cave/warehouse copypasted over and over again), a shiny new weapon, more darkspawn, and we actually have to use our brain to kill the main boss, BUT (of course there's a but, a few of them actually) it is so damn short. Seriously, what I expected was 3-4 hours of additional gameplay, even though that's also kinda short but that's the usual length of BioWare DLCs, but I got maybe an hour tops (yes, ONE hour). Take into consideration that I'm far from the zerg-through-the-quest type and that the expansion costs 10$. Oh, by the way, to the Origins fanatics who were outraged over the whole DA2 mess and didn't want to pay for it until it goes on sale on Steam, HA HA, check this out. Seriously BioWare/EA/Steam, Y U NO LIKE US?

Anyway, there's no conclusion to this. I did enjoy DA2 and I did enjoy Legacy, but mostly because I get hooked pretty easily. However, I really look forward to seeing the fans' reaction. I love me some drama.

xoxo, T

I hate writing titles

Hello, my imaginary readers, I made you a stupid comic!

I actually made this one 3 years ago with my then-boyfriend, right after I started college (guess what my major is), but I decided to redo it because I didn't like the old drawings anymore. 

Best wishes for the new year, xoxo,

T

Happy Holidays, my imaginary readers!

I was too busy eating and getting wasted to be able to write anything that makes sense, so I just drew you a picture of Santa and his Christmas elves. 

I know it looks weird, but I was drunk when I drew it and I still am, so I don't really care.

I hope you're enjoying your holidays as much as I am ;)

xoxo, T

A few things I've learned playing computer games

1. I can carry a shitload of items in a small item bag. This bag will maintain a conveniently tiny shape and appear like I'm not carrying anything, it will not poke me, slow me down or throw me off my balance. I can even keep large animals in small balls that fit in my pocket.
2. If one day everyone in the city including all my friends and family become zombies and I have to find a way to fight them off and escape, random weapons, ammunition and health packs will be lying in the streets waiting for me to pick them up by just walking through them. Other survivors will kindly allow me to have them, and even if they accidentally step on them, they won't pick them up. Enemies won't even think about touching them.
3. If I get severely hurt and I'm bleeding to death, all I have to do is one of these things: use a few bandages, drink a weirdly colored potion, find a cleric and scream "HEALZ PLEAZ" on voice chat, sit in a tavern for a few minutes, hide behind a wall or eat some food off the floor. However, I don't really have to eat, drink or use the bathroom, ever, the only absolute life necessity is sleeping. Unless I'm an elf.
4. Knifing people's feet will eventually kill them if I do it a large enough number of times, but firing a grenade at their face might not work. If I try stabbing someone with a sword and fail, all I have to do is roll a few dice to see if I'll succeed next time.
5. If I find myself being chased by cops for killing some prostitutes, switching cars won't help, but spray painting the one I'm already in just might, even if the cops are looking at me while I'm doing it.
6. War. War never changes.
7. The second someone in the party while I'm playing my cleric tells me "nice healing", I'll get shy, start blushing like a schoolgirl and everyone will wipe. If someone calls me a noob, I'll become the queen of multitasking - take the lead, kill all the monsters by myself, heal everyone except the bastard calling me a noob, and finish the quest in the next two minutes, leaving him dead in a lava pool so he can't pick up his loot.
8. Getting a college degree and working hard won't get me very far. I'll get more experience running around the city's sewers and killing rats and spiders. If I kill enough of them, people will start calling me a hero and give me free stuff. They might even build me a statue.
9. Randomly walking into strangers' homes without knocking, looking through their stuff and taking whatever I find useful is perfectly acceptable and they won't mind. In fact, they'll act like they didn't even see me, although they were standing right next to me all the time. Also, most of their houses have only one room.
10. All the stores in the world exist just to sell me the stuff I need to finish my quests. I can buy cool armors, fancy weapons, ammunition and healing potions, but never anything else. No cigarettes, paper tissues, normal food or clothing. Sometimes I'll be able to find some books but they'll probably be more expensive than everything else in the store altogether. I should also start collecting bottle caps, they might be really popular in the future.
11. Explosives don't work on doors, walls or rocks, unless they're a different color than most of the doors, walls or rocks. Rocks cannot be climbed over.
12. Most of the people around the city stay in the exact same spot all the time. Everyone speaks English, too, but they usually just repeat the same two sentences over and over again.
13. Wearing only gauntlets and a tiny chain mail bikini will afford me protection equal to full plates worn by men. Daisy Dukes paired with a camouflage tank top will do it, too.
14. If I die during battle, I can be resurrected as long as there's a cleric in my party or someone throws me some reviving potion, but if I die during a cutscene, I'm screwed. Other clerics aren't there to raise people from the dead, but to give long and heartbreaking funeral speeches. Enemies can't be raised and once I kill them, their corpses will flash for a few moments and then disappear. My friends who died while I wasn't around also can't be raised, but if I really need to talk to them, I can just talk to their ghosts and they might even give me some cool items.
15. If I stay in one place for too long, I'll get stabbed, killed and continually teabagged.

I went to the midnight launch of WoW: Cataclysm last night

And I don't even play WoW.

I also think that midnight launches are probably the saddest thing a gamer can do besides being a noob or cosplaying as Link. Seriously, waiting outside for 5 or 6 hours in the cold just so you can be the first one to play a game that you could have easily downloaded, or pre-ordered and had it delivered on the release day is just plain stupid. But fine.

Anyway, I wasn't planning on going for obvious reasons - I don't play WoW and even if I did I would've bought it online because it's freaking December. I was walking back from college and passing by a game store when I saw this huge line and the saddest face in the whole world in the front. It was my friend, a WoW addict, looking like his family just got killed in a horrible accident, so I stopped by. He started whining about being there for the last 3 hours and it wasn't even 8 yet and how he ran out of cigarettes, but he couldn't go buy a new pack because he was afraid he'd lose his place in the line. He also had to pee. So being a nice person that I am, I offered to stay with him in exchange for some of his beer. 

The whole thing was pretty unreal, it was like all the geeks from the country decided to crawl out of their basements and get together. Not to mention there were only 2 or 3 other girls. 

This is the list of things I've been told:

• Stay back, wench, let the tank go first. (a guy wearing an actual iron helmet trying to break the glass door)
• Mmm, free skin. (at first I didn't get this one, but my friend was quick to explain)
• Hey, cutie, you in my faction?
• Go make me some portals, dwarf.

I also got a WoW T-shirt for smiling at some guy who was wearing chain mail. I wanted to suggest that maybe he should be wearing the T-shirt, but I decided to be nice for a while because, hey, free pajamas. 

Then I went home and downloaded WoW trial.

xoxo, T